I'm such a shmuck. Such a dumb Dora. I debated about telling you this but you know me, I let it all out there so here goes...
Yesterday the married cheater called me. It had been more than two weeks since I had last seen or heard from him. I thought I was all done.
But then I said hello. I knew it was him before I did because it came up with his name, lying cheater.
He said "Hi honey." In that split second I almost started to cry but didn't.
The conversation wasn't much, how have you been kind of stuff. Why did I answer it? Why can't I block him? What the hell is wrong with me?
I have been with exactly three men in my life and two of them I was married to. One brief marriage out of high school and sarge and married cheater.
Now before my dreary lifed anonymous commenter jumps in here know up front you will be dealt with this time. I am in no mood to be pissed off by you again. I will find your IP address and go from there. You are cordially invited to keep the hate spewing from you to yourself. Oh, by the way, remember you said you weren't going to even read my blog again after you thought I was having an affair with Kyle. Ridiculous.
And to the rest of you, please go easy on me - as you always do. I already have Kyle telling me all things a friend would tell someone in my situation. And I'm trying to listen to him. Trying hard.
It's so sick all I want to do is cry my heart out - in his arms. But I won't of course.
Now I shall paste on a smile and go have lunch with my dear son...
Bee
Miss Bee,
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry. I sincerely understand how hard this is. I was involved many years ago with someone myself who wasn't right for me. He wasn't "into" me, like I was him, but he manipulated me anyway because he knew I had feelings for him. It took me over a year to finally be able to say 'no more'. I was nearly 30 so it wasn't like I can even say it was 'youth' it wasn't. It was just having feelings, even if I had them for the wrong person for me. You do what is best for you, and don't even worry one bit about what anyone else thinks. Just know we all want what is best for you. It sure sounds like Kyle is giving you some great advise! Bless him!!!!
We all know Kyle is just a good friend. Good grief...he's gay. I'm sure anyone with a brain can figure that out.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry honey. I kind of figured he's call you at some point. He's still a cheater, he still has a wife. He'll have a wife until he dies or she does. It doesn't make things easier though. The heart is a funny thing. It sometimes does what it wants and not what you know is best.
Big healing hugs honey. My best to Roche. ♥♥♥
I'm so sorry your heart is breaking.
ReplyDeleteKathy
Oh I'm so sorry for you. Nothing hurts like a broken heart...time will help but it's living through it that is hard. You are a strong woman (as you know) so be good to yourself. So many people care about you so take comfort in that. Debbie
ReplyDeleteKnowledge comes with experience and although you may be experienced in life, you certainly aren't in dating. Sure you should block his number and sure you shouldn't respond to him, but you won't...until another man comes along to take your mind off the WCFer. It happens that way.
ReplyDeleteBee, I have no advise since I have spent most of my adult life being with the wrong guys! So, all I can give you is a big hug! Take care of yourself! You are very much loved by me!
ReplyDeleteHugs
Lynn
Oh, Bee. Well of course you fell for it and answered his call, the man has perfected the art of sweet talking and all women everywhere want to hear sweet words and believe that we are loved. Keep your eye on moving forward, Bee. The one thing I remind myself in my own life is that love comes in many forms and, honey, you are surrounded by it. Cherish those you give you true love, and keep sending this scoundrel on his way. I am so sorry you are having this experience.
ReplyDeleteMel
I don't think I would have blocked him...up until know. I would have wanted to know if he'd call back with a sincere apology or something else that would finally let me close the door on a tough learning experience. Saying, "Hi Honey," would have done it for me. To me it was if he assumed he thought all was still well between you, that he didn't drop a deal breaker bomb on you the last time. That's along the same lines as telling you that his wive was going to die soon so it was okay for you two to be together. A guy like that will take a mile if you give him an inch, so I WILL give you some advice although others don't want to: Block him now and don't let him waste another minute of your life. You may not be the only woman (besides a wive) that he's been heart-scamming, too. He's a player.
ReplyDeleteCall the son of a b***h's wife and let her know what that ass is doing and then tell that prick where to go. I'm so sorry for of all of that language but now I'm really angry. What a jerk to call you up. CALL HIS WIFE UP. She needs to know what a jerk he is or have someone else to call her or put it on Facebook. Now that would be interesting.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is with you my lovely friend. OH MY GOD how stupid of that jerk and I mean a real jerk.
See you gorgeous.
Cruisin Paul
PS: Call me if you need someone just to listen to you.
Paul, what if his wife really is dying? I'm not sure I could do that to another woman who may or may not already know. what kind of man she married. Though it wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't even have a wife and a mythical wife is only brought up when a relationship gets serious on the woman's part. Players do that sort of thing. Revenge is tempting but I'd want to do some investing first to see if I could find a wife and then snoop on hers or his Facebook page first before deciding anything. But to me, the best revenge is to not invest anymore time on the jerk and go find something happier to do.
DeleteBlock him.
ReplyDeleteHe is a player and he knows you really like him.
The first months/year are all filled with fun exciting meetings, butterflies, him being on his best behavior,no dirty socks, on the floor just butterflies in the tummy the best part of dating.
You just have to let "it" go.
cheers, parsnip
Oh, honey, I hate that this happened. I'm sure I would have picked up the phone too. But can I give you the benefit of my life experience here? A man who will cheat on his first wife will continue that pattern even after he is married to the woman he cheated on wife #1 with, y'all. (Can't end words of wisdom with a preposition, now can I?). So guard your heart, block the number when you are ready, listen to Kyle, and leave that loser in the dust. He is not worthy of you. If he were, he would never have deceived you. And he would never have hurt you as he has. Sending you some extra hugs today.
ReplyDeleteI cannot call his wife. That would hurt her and I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just couldn't. I could hurt him but I wouldn't do that either. I just hope I have the will power not to talk to him again. Thanks for all the support...
ReplyDeleteBee
I wonder if he is really married ?
DeleteBut you just need to change your number or block his number.
This call proved what a player he is.
xxxx parsnip
Sending you love dear. By the way, Kyle sounds like a good buddy. I'm glad he's your friend. Next time put Kyle on the phone if he's there. I'm sure he'll read him up and down, then turn the page.
ReplyDeleteHugs.
DeleteThree words. Bless your heart.
DeleteCathy
I love you. He's not worthy of your garbage that you toss out every week. You deserve SO much more than him. And I know you know that's true. You put your heart out there and this one loser stomped on it. It will hurt. But only for a time.
ReplyDeleteI really don't want to give you any advice but maybe just this tiny tid bit... Keep loving yourself. You will get through this.
Plus? I wish I had a friend like Kyle who is so loving... and conveniently close by! ;)
Sending you extry big hugs today xoxo
Bee, I agree with Jean above. I most certainly would have wanted to see if he called and if so, what he would say. Now you know what a true slime he is. It doesn't matter if he really is married, if the wife really is dying, or whatever. What we do know is that he hurt you and he takes advantage of women. You can't find the good in your life until you take out the garbage. I know it hurts, and I'm sorry. xoxo
ReplyDeleteBee, I agree with Jean above. I most certainly would have wanted to see if he called and if so, what he would say. Now you know what a true slime he is. It doesn't matter if he really is married, if the wife really is dying, or whatever. What we do know is that he hurt you and he takes advantage of women. You can't find the good in your life until you take out the garbage. I know it hurts, and I'm sorry. xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh Gosh, please do not call his wife like Paul is suggesting you do. That would not make you feel better at all and it would make you feel even worse than you already do. I mean what if she is dying and you call her up and say..."Oh let me just add to your misery and the pain you are already feeling."" Bee, that would just be terrible so no matter how much you want to hurt him please don't hurt her in the process. She knows what he is and she knows he is cheating. Wives always know even when they just cant face that truth, they know. Time to just block his ph number or change yours and move on.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with most of what you said and I know Bee would not call and hurt the wife. But once upon a time, I was a wife who was being cheated on, and I didn't know it for a long time. I eventually found out, and I'm no longer married, but no, the wife does not always know.
Delete