And THAT, my friends, is why I live in that red spot at the bottom right. Oh yeah. I know lots of you love the cold and the snow and all that but not me. Y'all can go ski or sled, I'll be at the pool today with my book and my sunglasses and my cold drink and my beach towel.
Yesterday I had my annual meeting with my financial guy. He's been with me for 11 years now and has done very well. Sarge found him and asked him to take care of my finances and he does. We were more aggressive last year and did well in the market but he feels now that everyone is buying and it's time to pull back and get more conservative. So that's what we did. I tell you this to give you my information in case you want to do the same. He feels the market cannot continue at it's present growth and I completely agree.
Then I went swimming for an hour and had my jammies on by 4:00. I know. But I can and I did.
Now I want to talk about something. Stop here if you want, it's okay with me.
Still here? Okay then, get ready. Something is bothering me.
I tend to be friends with people that are so negative and I cannot tell you why. I am so NOT a negative person. I have two friends in particular that are driving me nuts. No matter what I say the other is their stance. Example: Me: Oh isn't it a lovely sunny day? Them: Well it's supposed to rain later. Me: Wasn't that lunch delicious? Them: My soup was weak. Whatever I say there is a negative response.
This is getting on my very last nerve.
And that's not all. No, not even close. Next up are the friends that have to be right/more right/know more/theirs is better/whatever. Me: I was thinking about trying x/y/z whatever. Them: Oh I would never try that. It's awful. Me: Have you tried it? Them: No but I know it's awful. My son/daughter/friend/doctor told me not to ever try x/y/z whatever.
And then there is the one that tells me no matter what I do the way they do it is better. Their diet/doctor/cruise line/hair products are much better than what I do.
If you are still with me please know that this behavior is non productive and still I have one more thing.
Sometimes people just want to talk. They don't WANT you to solve their problem. They just want to tell you they are lonely/hurt/scared/whatever and want a friendly person to tell. Please just let them. A squeeze on the hand or a hug is sometimes so much more than a solution. If they ASK you then it's okay but if not, just let them talk.
Be a good friend. They are precious. Thank you for sticking with me and letting me get this off my chest. Y'all totally rock. I love you all.
Oh, and have a wonderful day. Me too...
Listening is an art. I've always been a fixer, and it's only been recently that I've learned to just shut the heck up.
ReplyDeleteSometime people just need to dump/rant, but there are also people who have to one-up you. I guess it's insecurities; but if it's a constant thing it becomes downright toxic.
---Like the rest of the country we're freezing, literally. Our citrus growers are really hurting. Florida is where to be!
I will listen/read anything you want to write/say.
ReplyDeleteGoodness
Even Tucson is 10 degrees lower than it should be. We are having our January weather now.
We have two months of winter snow in the mountain around Tucson and sun in the valley.
We are not as warm as you but you know I rather like the two months of winter.
The Square Ones send woofs
cheers, parsnip
It takes resolve and practice to become a really good listener, at least it did in my case. I grew up in a big family where everyone was trying to get in their two bits at the same time as 14 other people! Listening did not come easy! haha!
ReplyDeleteSome people are just negative and know-it-all-y, even when they ask for help. I actually had to explain to someone who called ME and specifically ASKED for my advice that to hear it they would actually have to stop talking and listen. I had to further explain that listening did not mean them just not talking while planning in their head what they would say to me as a retort when I stopped speaking!! I also explained that since they did in fact seek me out for the purpose of getting my input that implied that they actually wanted my input so why were they arguing so vehemently that I was wrong and they were right? I can do without that, thankyouverymuch. This person hasn't asked for my advice since then.
It was 74° this morning when I got up. I'm enjoying it while I can as we're getting another evil cold front at the end of the week. Crap. Enjoy the warmth and the pool! big hugs xoxo
We're getting SNOW today! And I cannot wait to enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteSorry those types of people are bothering you. They are everywhere. I've learned that I cannot control how they behave, all I can do is control my own reaction to them. So I am of the KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS persuasion. They never know what to do. :0 Or just say, "Bless your heart". You are in the South after all. ;)
No matter, I hope your day is better, and it bothers you less. Sounds like I need a financial guru too. I never know what to do with my measley Thrift Savings Plan for my retirement. Our options are limited in the government, but I want to maximize the potential. I have only 15 more years to go!!!!
Thanks to you I'm a more rounded person today. Yes , at times this year with all the crazy stuff I've had to deal with regarding my mother's situation I've felt a little negative but at the same time, I feel I've grown as a person dealing with this situation especially with the death of my mom.. I've enjoyed your great conversations and well thought of comments that you've given me. I can only thank God for giving you to me.
ReplyDeleteYes, you live in a wonderful place. Last night it went down to digit numbers and today will only be around 25 degrees. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I've put my Camero to bed for the winter only to run it for a few minutes every few days. I just wanted to sit in it thinking about the spring when I can get out and run around in it again.
Friendship is so important Bee and I thank you that you are my friend. See you my wonderful, lovely friend.
Paul
Paul, I do not know you, but felt compelled to offer condolensces on the loss of your Mom. May your heart be full of memories this holiday season, for those will bring you comfort.
DeleteBee, Dang...I didn't know you knew my sisters.!!LOL. I have one who won't be up beat or happy....and you can't make her. I have one who just wants to talk and repete what she just said, maybe even two more times. Gaa. But hey, I love them and try my darndest to not let it effect my out look on life...I want to have joy every day...even if it's just a nice cappucino. Thinking that red state is looking pretty good lately. LOL. xoxox, Susie
ReplyDeleteNegative (in whatever guise) people are not good to be around, so, if you intend to keep these friends, limit your time with them Bee otherwise they will suck you dry. Life is too short to be negative. xxxx
ReplyDeleteOh and I'm with you on preferring the sun to snow anytime! :)
ReplyDeleteI am so with you on not wanting negative stuff around me either. Be kind (you always are) and try to avoid those negative nellies whenever you can...and bless their hearts when you can't!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs, honey...
Recently I blocked two that were very negative and one told me what to do more than my superiors when I was working. Both are gone and I just can't tell you how wonderful that is. Toxic people need to leave everyone else alone. You don't need these people either. You are not negative. You are fun and happy. Kick them to the curb honey.
ReplyDeleteI would love to stay in Florida during the winter (after hurricane season), but not during hurricane season.
Have a fabulous day honey. Big hugs to you and my very best to Roche. ♥♥♥
We trade warmth and sunshine in the winter for Hurricane season in the summer. But I'll still choose FL! There are just insecure people, and listening is an art. You are the least negative person there is and I admire your attitude Miss Bee!
ReplyDeleteCiaoooo!
ReplyDeleteIndeed here is very cold, and I don't love it...and I don't like people who are like your friends (friends?)...We need positive thoughts for many issues, which are hurting our family, relatives and friends...thanks!
Have a warm lovely time!!!
Sorry I don't write so often...but my mind is a bit out of concentration!
Big hugs, honey!
Please...tell Paul I received the card, I thank him, he shold send me an e.mail, then I think he doesn't receive mine...the address was spammed!!!
Thank you!!!
I am in a greyhound rescue group and one of the members is a negative person. She never has anything good to say, all negative all the time. After a while I started limiting my contact with her and increasing my involvement with others in the group. I am much happier now that I am working with positive folks. I don't need negativity in my life.
ReplyDeleteBee, I had a neighbor that was like that. I loved her and she was a good friend, I just couldn't take never hearing anything positive coming out of her mouth. We have very little contact now. I could join you on this soapbox.
ReplyDeleteBig Hugs,
Bobbi
Bee, I had a neighbor that was like that. I loved her and she was a good friend, I just couldn't take never hearing anything positive coming out of her mouth. We have very little contact now. I could join you on this soapbox.
ReplyDeleteBig Hugs,
Bobbi
Avoid negativity whenever possible. And a good listener is priceless!
ReplyDelete