Saturday, June 9, 2012

Saturday stuff and other stuff...

I have a canasta game today and lunch again at the club.  It's a nice game, some different gals that I like.  

Yesterday was a washout as far as the pool went.  It either rained, stormed, or wasn't hot enough for me all day long.  

I've been thinking again.  I know, I know, don't do that.  But I have never lived alone in my life, not for a single day, until now.  Not counting the loneliness there are many other differences.  The obvious is cooking and grocery shopping for one but so many things you never think about.  

There is no one to leave a note saying when you'll be home, no one to say you "look nice today" or even tell you you have toilet paper on your shoe! No one to hug or hold hands.   No one to ever say "you cooked, I'll do the dishes honey".  Just me.  When I get home there is no one to say "hello".  And I am no longer a "we".  I am an "I".  And I don't much like it.  The feeling is hard to explain if you have never experienced it either. 

On the plus side (I always try to have a positive side) there is little laundry, little dishes, I can watch whatever show I want on tv, I can turn it off when I want quiet, I can do as I please.   I can eat dinner at 3:00 or midnight, whenever I feel hungry.  I don't have to have food ready at 6:00.  

But I wish I did. 

Sorry for the pity party today.  I'll do better tomorrow, I promise!  Honest...


  1. awwwwwwwww Bee,
    You can write anything you want and I will read it and hope I can help make you feel better.
    You and Sarge were special, so it is completely understandable that you would feel lonely. Especially since you have never lived alone before.
    But if I can tell you one true thing, it will get better and it will not hurt as much. I know this as a true thing.

    I have lived alone for much of my life. When I was working before marriage and then during my marriage (disaster) and now after the divorce.
    I never received any of the things you mentioned that you miss but I got plenty of verbal abuse.
    So now that we are divorced and I am once again truly alone I really like it. And even though I am old, sick and can barley walk... and I lost all throes years, I am so happy to be alone.
    But I do have The Square Ones so I guess I am not completely alone.
    They are a hoot and keep me on my toes.

    You take care and have fun at lunch and the game.

    cheers, parsnip

  2. I know just what you mean. I had never once lived alone until my divorce at 40 years old. I didn't much care for it either, even though being alone was far better than living with him. Of course, I got use to it... but I'd still like to find someone someday. Someone who likes cruising would be good. :)

    Have a lovely game! big hugs xoxo

  3. You tell it perfectly--just like it is. I don't much like it either!

  4. Miss Bees
    We really think you need a double dose of fuzzy furry hugs today from all 5 of us.

  5. You know Bee, my mother tells me about how being alone and she's living in a building full of people. It's when she's in her own section of the building she feels alone, referring to my dad and he's been gone 12 years. Hang in there my wonderful friend. Charlie's gone but is still there and you have many, many friends around you and others further of you like me.

    I golfed on Friday and it was so, so. I whacked that little boy so hard but my putting was lousy. I guess I can't do well with everything at once. Today I'm not sure what I'll be doing but I do know is that I'll be watching golf on the TV. I'm crazy for the game.

    In two weeks where will you be going on that cruise, what ship, what ports and can I go with you? Ha,ha,ha. I know that's impossible but I just thought I'd ask.

    Did you read John's blog. I guess there are a few things on the Breeze that are not on the other ships like opening the lights in your cabin and working the TV. I wonder what they are like? Oh well I"ll find out in January.

    Well that is it for today my lovely talented friend. See you.


  6. Bee, just wanted to send hugs! I'm so proud of how well you are doing - the loneliness must be hard but you are such a trooper and you have many people who love you.



  7. Dearest Bee,
    It's been 132 days since your beloved Sarge died, and you must miss him every day. Widowhood and the loneliness that comes with doing things on your own/being on your own is really really really hard. You're not having a pity party - you're talking about the realities that face you.

    My deep empathy and many many hugs throughout the day.

    You do your very very best (and an excellent best it is) to still do things you enjoy - and to get enjoyment out of them. And that is major. It's the first steps in oh-so-gradually over the next years being able to be alone without being lonely.

    And that still doesn't mean that things aren't so different that it is overwhelmingly sad sometimes.

    ((More hugs))

  8. Bee, You loved a good man ,who loved you in are entitled. Have fun today. xoxo, Susie

  9. Bee, I have gone through these realities with my sister and told her she is paving the way for (maybe) me. No, it isn't a pity party; it is stating the obvious of what is not good. I have never ever lived alone either, and I do not want to find out what it is really like.

    Sending you extry hugs today, my friend...

  10. Bee you have been so strong and brave, you must allow yourself the down times too. Just know how many people out here love you and are pulling for you.

    James and I made it home tonight, got some help from a loving son inlaw to get the bed inside. Waiting on fresh sheets from the dryer. I will give you my first night review tomorrow.

    Big Hugs, my sweet dear friend!!


  11. Like you, I have never lived alone and the thought of it fills me with dread. I feel for you Bee. x

  12. I can't imagine, but I've thought about it. It's going to happen to most of us at some point in our lives. I'm not looking forward to it and hubby and I agree that we were leaving at the same time. Not very realistic, but it's just what he says. I do know that you are not having a pity party. You are in fact stating the obvious.

    Love you bunches honey. Big hugs. :)

  13. Every thing you said here is ME too! I sit watching TV at night and start talking to Mike. It comforts me. I am used toi us both making decisions together, So by talking to him I feel like we have made the decision together, and it helps, Linda
    P.S. for some reason, the only way I can write to you is by being anonymous. Linda


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